dang it

Mr. Erectile Dysfunction Junction called. I ignored the call. He e-mailed. He texted. He called again. Couldn't he just hide his head in shame? I finally told him that we wouldn't be seeing each other again.

Last night I had a blind date with the Timid Fisherman. Nice guy, kind of timid in his speech, not a whole lot of chemistry. I'm hoping it won't turn out like the blind date several months ago with the Awkward Architect. Like TF, the AA was very timid in his speech (why can't I find any dominant assholes to date?). However, after the date he sent me a most eloquent e-mail. I believe he mentioned a desire to wipe down my breasts with a moist towelette. There was no second date with the Awkward Architect.

one chance

You only get one chance to make a first impression. It's trite but true.

It's also true that there are only two kinds of men: those that want to date you and those that want to fuck you.

So when I found myself making out with someone at the end of a first date recently, I realized that I had figured him wrong. I also realized that you shouldn't look a gift horse in the, er, pants, and decided to have a one-night stand with him.

This is where his first impression went horribly wrong. Men must know when there are issues. And if you suspect there may be issues, why would you start something that you can't finish? This crossed my mind the first time Mr. Erectile Dysfunction Junction was trying to put a condom on his clearly-less-than-erect self. After fooling around a while more, he tried again and met with failure again. The third time was also not the charm.

Now I'm stuck dodging him online and hoping he doesn't call. I'm kind of a dude that way - I just can't respect someone who would put out so quickly. (Even though he technically didn't put out...) I don't want to make him feel that it was his performance. He could have rocked my world and I still wouldn't want to try to date him again. I imagine ED must suck. I wouldn't know, as I'm a female and also pretty much good to go at any time.

Please don't let him call.